Four days in and no one has taken advantage of my offer, though I did have one friend contact me and inquire as to how to buy Bitcoin so as to support me in my efforts.
In the meantime, I set up a miner. It seems to fluctuate between 3.6 and 3.7 Megahashes per second, and when I last checked with my pool, it had generated 9/10 of a cent for me in over a day. In truth, I am less than thrilled at the prospect of the miner generating the equivalent of $3 a year, but I guess it is technically preferable to my computer doing absolutely nothing to earn its keep.
Reddit has inspired another service I could offer. It seems that there are actually snack foods that people in other parts of the world like or would like to try. While I can’t imagine anyone actually wanting to try Kool-Aid or that gross combination of peanut butter and jelly in the same jar, foreigners sometimes have weird tastes. There are also regional favorites like Ale-8-One that I could send to people here in the States who don’t have it locally. So thank you, /r/snackexchange for the inspiration. When I get around to making that long list of things I can do, I’ll make sure to put ‘purveyor of disgusting American food products’ among my skillset.